sonna koto ii na

I've had to choose between doing so many [right and hard things] and [wrong and easy things].
Obviously,a self centered clown like me would choose to do the wrong and easy things.
Last night after walking them home,i took the train home and i was thinking to myself.thinking about why i do things for people.i don't know.it's because i love people.i love seeing people happy i guess.even if i don't know them.

ryohei is leaving a 3 days time.i already miss him.he's become the brother i never had.
Onichan.Hahaha.He hates it when i call him that.we went to a bar.(Ryohei,Mari,Yuki,Marvin and I).I think they had fun.I was troubled.They were talking stuff concerning themselves.Honestly,I felt out of place most of the time and after that we walked like idiots to Ramen Kan.It supposedly opens till late and when we reached there at 10.It was closing.Stupid idiots.

It's annoying when people treat me like a kid.I know i am 19 and i watch alot of cartoons.Seriously,when i act matured,you people won't like me.

I've not gone to church for some time.I've drank,I've smoked.When I told my cg people about it,they seemed abit unhappy about it.So i haven't gone to church since.Don't feel like going anyway.let them do what they want and i will do what i want.a few weeks ago i was at the church bus stop and someone tried to sell me marijuana.Hahah.First time i saw what it looked like.

Yuki's housemate is growing the stuff that guy tried to sell me at the church bus stop.
I haven't had proper conversations with many people.Suddenly feel like i've lost my friends.just have to make new friends.

i got an email after we went to the bar.I don't know.When i read that email,I feel happy.When I think about that email,I am troubled.It makes me feel like i am not good enough for anyone.
I know i cannot please everybody but i guess it's human nature to feel liked?

i think i'll just take some time out.Throw my phone away and live by myself for soem time.Don't bother about anybody.Just judge them by the bad things they do.That way i would be more informed about the way the world works.I met this random guy at the station last night and said something which made me think.

"you hear everyone telling you to do good and all that shit,but when you do good you still get screwed.So you might as well go with the world.treat other people like how they treat you."

that's what he said.He was drunk,but what he said made sense and he gave me a lift back home from the station.funny.i gave someone a lift from the station before.some random chinese guy.


there shall be no intevention on Nobi Nobita because he saves the world in the future.